The Holidays are Here!!

I can't believe that Christmas is almost here!!

Time just flies by...

I keep thinking of this time last year and how different everything was! Wouldn't our lives be so much easier if we could see into the future?

I have been trying to remember Christmases past...as I was growing up. And the funny bit is I don't have that many memories. The thing that seems to stand out is Dodoma in December...

I remember certain trees that have red flowers, the flowers only come out in December. I think they may possibly give out a sweet smell of sorts...now that screamed Christmas for me. The smell in the air, the weather, that feeling of being home for the holidays from school, it really was priceless..

I found that picture on this blog! Those are the trees i'm talking about.

This street...I grew up in that street. The picture was taken from Dodoma Hotel, the road as you are going to Kilimani club. The road home. How I miss that street, in that weather. Walking from home to town, or to a shop, or to the post office(I'm smiling just thinking about the trips to the post office, at some point in my life, that was the only way I would get to see baby daddy but that's a story for another day) I don't think a day ever went by without passing through this street. I miss home. I miss being young and happy...sigh

There were always people at home...cousins, brothers, sisters...the house was always full. Christmas meant going to church, either for the midnight mass (and we would walk by the way, to and fro), or the following morning, we would then come back home and my sisters would go straight to the kitchen, together with mama, for lunch preparations. While my dad and brothers and their friends would be outside drinking beers and maybe eating Mbuzi, or whatever it is dad has slaughtered for Christmas.

Needless to say, they had the best of times, my dad and brothers!...my sisters and mama would be too exhausted by the time the pilau was ready, but would get a bit of peace after everyone had eaten and the kitchen was tidy again. Being the last born had its perks! I never really had to do anything, so I would be in between the kitchen and outside with my dad and brothers. And I was a happy girl!

Growing up changed everything. The house is hardly ever full anymore, we are scattered all over the place. Years would pass without my sister coming home for Christmas, or my brothers. The former with her family in Texas and the latter with his family in Canada. The only persons who usually make it home for Christmas are myself, my brother Tom and his family and my sister Gemma. John and Stan are unpredictable, some years they are home, others they aren't. It's not the same any more...we aren't as close as we used to be, and Christmases at home are different as well...

This year I have decided not to go home. With everything that is going on, I just don't have the energy to face my very religious parents who aren't particularly pleased with my current situation (if you don't know what i'm talking about, read here) I still have no idea what I am going to do with myself during the Holidays, but I am truly looking forward to all the free time to read, and watch series and cry and think and do all sorts of things.

Last year I went home for Christmas, it was nice to see my parents, I got to spend time with the family and it was pretty awesome. I kept missing my life here in Dar though, and missing dear baby daddy lol! So I didn't stay for too long, came back, almost broke up with baby daddy over some dumb stunt one of us pulled but by new year's eve, we were fine and happy and promised to be there for each other in the coming year. Spent New year with him and it was awesome...we grilled nyama, drank lots of wine and lazied around all day.

This year the story is different. I wont be in Dodoma, I'll be right here in Dar, but we wont be together. Now that will suck for sure. 

This is my last Christmas alone. Next year I will have a daughter, or a son to kiss me and love me and think i'm their whole life! She will be six months old by then, a real tiny human being, and all mine...well mine and baby daddy's of course lol! That has got to be awesome ... having a person who completely depends on you, you are their life basically. Knowing me, that's exactly my kind of love!! I'm clingy as hell, If I love someone I want to be around them all the time, so this little creature inside me now will take care of all of that...

It's time to create new traditions, for my own little family. I want him to have certain memories of christmas with mummy, how we do things, in our own way. I can't wait to meet you little darling.

Okay I am getting a little emotional here ...

I pray you have the best of times this December. I pray that it's a special time for you and your family. And I pray that you will be happy, and create long lasting memories that you will cherish for the longest of times.

Happy Holidays, with Love.