Life Lessons...and my usual ramblings

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Has anyone ever felt like life was dishing out more lessons than they cared to receive?
That has been my life for the past two years.
I had to grow up in ways even I did not believe myself capable of.
But through it all I have come to understand one thing. We are who we want to be at the end of the day. Allowing negative situations to change the core being of who we are is nothing but a declaration of weakness.

So although there are times that I have felt the need to avoid feeling emptiness and or pain, and dived into the deep dark end, at the end of the day my conscience always comes to my rescue. Reminding me of who I am, and pushing me to do better. Deal with whatever negative emotions I was avoiding.

I believe one can never really heal unless they allow themselves to feel each and every emotion that comes with the situation.

Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to disclose exactly what my ramblings are about, but I am proud of the person that I am. And I have God to thank for that.  I am only human, so I am expected to make mistakes, and God knows I have made my fair share. But what matters is what comes next. 

The past few months have been some of the toughest I have ever had to live through. I am thankful for the ability to keep a level head through out the turmoil, and now I am starting to get excited about new beginnings...the endless possibilities. Accepting the stuff that I am not capable of changing has given me some sort of peace.

I am trying to exercise, keep my circle small, be healthy, maybe loose the mommy pooch? LoL. And generally concentrate on being the very best version of myself. I have two absolutely adorable little angels to take care of, sometimes I ask myself why God would give me of all people these little creatures, perfect as they are for me to take care of. Why would he trust me with such perfection? And then I tell myself that he knows me more than I know myself. Maybe I am capable of being the mother that they need. Maybe I am capable of raising them right..

I do get overwhelmed with emotions at times but one thing I know for a fact is that the situation I am in? It is healthier than the life I have lived for possibly the better part of all of this year.

Yes I am rambling...

I should probably stop right here. Before I get carried away and go to the specifics.

Maybe I will post again soon. Maybe I wont. **smile**



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